Mad Hatter here, and welcome. I will be presenting a new column each week. Topic for the first few articles, The Customer.
Since 1979 I have seen many customers, all shapes, sizes, colors and reactions. To borrow from history "…you can scare all of the customers some of the time, and some of the customers all of the time, but you cannot scare all of the customers all of the time." As a tried and true fall back position my primary goal is to entertain the customer and whenever possible, give 'em a good scare. I would like to say that my efforts have been 100% effective, but alas it isn't so.
What to do? I hate the scene where the customer pitches a fit, demands his money back and rants about what a lousy show we presented. I have played this both ways. Early on I actually gave refunds. To my dismay the customer still badmouthed me all over, up and down the line. Therefore an unhappy customer is something to avoid, because no matter what you do after he is unhappy, you will accomplish nothing positive. And I no longer give refunds. I have no magic answer on 100% customer satisfaction. In reality I do not believe it is possible. I have, over the years, reduced the number of complaints. As a matter of fact they have declined every year, 1998 we had two serious demands for money back and several people in departing groups that appeared to be disappointed. The true measure of my haunt is in those that take one of the twelve chicken exits before the final exit. 1998 was not my best early exit year, but it did come in number three. 1998 was a year for firsts. I actively promoted a daytime event for small children, and I lost my shirt. Both money back complaints came from daytime customers (families). It seems costumed fun characters, magic shows, free carnival games, make-up demonstrations, ghost stories and… … it made no difference how hard I tried… I was paddling up stream in the face of Niagara Falls. True we pleased 99% of the daytime customers, but the two families we did not please stood out beyond belief. One woman continued to call and leave messages into November. The other woman stood around the ticket booth for fifteen minutes (her husband waited in the car) with her children who began to cry. What a scene for newly arrived customers to view, one car pulled up and left. A Roanoke Police car (on routine patrol) pulled up and she left. This family of four paid $20; they went to every show, toured the castle and stayed for over an hour. From what I was told this family had a good time. Both kids got free monster make-up and bags of candy. So, why the fit? I have no idea. But from the beginnings of my passage in the haunt biz this had never happened to me before. This begs the question (of course in hind sight) all things considered, knowing what you now know Mr. Hatter, would you now refund the ladies money? NO, I would not, maybe dig a big hole for her to fall into or arrange a kidnapping by an unfriendly UFO, but no money back. What has happened is that I am now in unfamiliar territory, dealing with different types of customers and I know not what has escaped from Pandora's Box. To say that I understand my customer base is not entirely true, but I thought I had a better Understanding than I apparently did, or do? Do I have a lesson that I have learned? Not sure. 1999 was supposed to be an expansion of my family theme for Halloween. At the moment those plans have been scraped and the back up plans are slipping into place. I have invested heavily in costumes for little ones, decorations and props. I could build an entire haunt for children, but… Two major concerns: One, I lost money. Two, the happy ladies. Losing money is normal for me, being the biz wiz that I am, but a parent's rampage is a bit much for me. To see a grown woman, children in hand, making gutter trash look classy is more than I bargained for. The bottom line is that I was not prepared for this, and had no way to deal with it. It began small and slowly escalated out of control and beyond any and all reason. Customers are income. We must please the majority. My operation is based heavily on word of mouth. These two ladies (early in the season) may have contributed to my poor attendance during the day.Mad Hatter
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