Great Discovery, SCREWS

Back in the 50s I built my first tree house. I built a clubhouse, train layouts, Christmas tree forts and sets for school productions. My friend was the hammer and his close associate the nail. I loved nails. I could build almost anything with them and various sizes and shapes of lumber. Summer of '87 I began to build yet another set. It was our sitcom stage. It had a kitchen, front door, living room and the obligatory staircase to nowhere. I had completed the staircase and landing when it was decided to add more space. The new studio was over 1,500 sq. ft. So like a good little trooper I began to disassemble the set to move it. I wanted things to stay together, so I used large nails. Removing them proved to be a challenge. One particular nail was very stubborn. I was on the steps, had a lever under it; it would not move… then it flew out of the hole. I mean it took wings, sailed into the upper atmosphere and went into orbit. I (the launcher) was going the other way. I fell about two feet… and shattered my left arm. Note I did not say break.

I was alone at the studio. I lay on the floor for a couple of minutes trying to figure out why I was in such pain. It became obvious every time I tried to move my left arm, but the pain was coming from all of my arm. I could not stand, so I crawled to the soda machine and purchased a Coke. I sat on the floor before the Coke Machine Idol and sucked down the pop. This gave me enough energy to make it to my car and then the hospital. Exciting stuff, eh? Well, there is a moral to the story.

I had experimented with screws off and on, what I did not like was the cord on the screw gun. I really did not like any screw gun that I purchased. I had to continue to work and it was proving difficult with one arm strapped to my body. Then by accident I discovered The Makita 9vdc cordless drill. I now own several. The sitcom stage was a combination of nails and screws as I slowly and painfully made the transition from the love of my life (nails) to screws. What I have learned is that I was a fool. True screws cost more and may take a little more time to set in place, but I could build anything now. I did not have to build walls on the floor and tilt them. I could build them in place because I no longer needed a firm surface against which to pound.

The real beauty of screws is flexibility. The entire haunt was assembled with screws. We changed it twice after we opened and once at the request of the fire department. The inspector had a concern, I agreed and while he stood there and watched I went zip, zip and zip. It was done. He was appreciative, as he did not have to come out again, and I was amazed. I have used screws exclusively since then. Except for hidden nails that hold wire mesh in place for cement or plaster.

The 4x8' wall panel goes together quickly. Not as quick as a nail gun, but the wondrous thing is that that same panel comes apart again to become something else as quickly as I screwed it together. I have over 400 panels. Most of them were built in 1990. Some of them have gone on to their final resting place, but most have remained. They are easy to repair, convert and modify. There were no nails working their way out to attack customers or to fight with me when storing the panels. And when a screw does get loose in its hole, you have two choices. Replace it with a longer screw or move it a little one way or the other.

Other than the discovery of screws our year was rather uneventful. Another version of the central corridor made its debut. We used nearly all available space and had fun building the haunt. This was the first year for major help during construction from students and parents. The arrival of the screw would make a greater impact next year as I would simply go crazy.

Next Week, 1988

Mad Hatter

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